im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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