she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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