On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
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i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
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He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.