there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.