census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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