I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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