dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑