The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it