Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.