You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
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I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
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Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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