she looked like the before picture.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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