Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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