He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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