Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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