apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
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I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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