Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
