This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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