I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i out mim tonsoeep
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