If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize