it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
