Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
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God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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