So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
