just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!