FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.