Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.