quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies