You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
