What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
