i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize