I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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