Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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