Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize