Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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