i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
