ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
