you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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