I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize