Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
