Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
