I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
