Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
