PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't deserve a penis
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This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
where are my eyebrows?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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