When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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