i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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