their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
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I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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