I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize