it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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