just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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