Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize