I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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