Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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