i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need water and some morals
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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