Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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