I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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