Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
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So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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