Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
